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L ong ago, in another time, I got a call from a lawyer. Hugh Hefner was threatening a libel action against me and the paper I worked for at the time, for something I had written. Journalists live in dread of such calls.

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Tempted to put the pedal to the metal on your new partnership? Rushing through the initial stages of a relationship — from the first date to moving in together — can put a damper on your partnership and decrease the odds that your relationship will last long-term. Doing so will give you and your partner time to show your true colors — both the good and the bad. Taking things slow includes hitting the women want sex downing in the bedroom.

Name: Lia
Years old: 30

Views: 66095

The Well O K, check it.

What would you do?

I was nineteen and down South attending this academic conference where minority students from all over the country came to be all smart melrose wi sex dating shit. We finished our conference-related obligations for the day.

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So, after about an hour of bullshitting with the homies in the hotel lobby, I went back to my room to change and get ready for the rest of the night. And housewives seeking sex tonight serenada only other person with a key to my room was my roommate, so I thought nothing of it.

But the voice that responded back to me was sultry, and warm, and definitely not male.

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When I realized who it was, my soul left my body for a split-second. Not older men dating service were we both from different cities, but we also went to school in different parts of the country. She had that look in her eyes— she was there for a reason.

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I was a virgin at the time tacoma speed dating that, among other things, was a huge source of insecurity for me. So, what other dudes might have seen as the ideal situation—the girl you like keying into your hotel room unannounced, where there was nothing but space and opportunity—was more anxiety-inducing than anything.

What brings you up here? I tried to sound nonchalant, but I was shook.

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And as she started in my direction, my heart rate took off. She hits me with… I want you. As she got closer, all the thoughts ran through my mind.

7 reasons to take your new relationship slow

Is she for real, or is this the liquor talking? Shit, I need a drink.

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Does my roommate have any condoms? Wait, how did she even get in here?

I called hugh hefner a pimp, he threatened to sue. but that’s what he was

Finally, we were face to face. And for the first time, we kissed.

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Talk about bittersweet. And lowkey, the shit was hot.

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Just knowing she wanted me on such a primal, carnal level made me feel things. But the more we fumbled through this interaction, the more I realized just how drunk she was.

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I mean, I knew she liked me but she had never been this ugly people meet. So, I shut it down and sent her on her way. In the moments after she left, I was all types of conflicted.

First person: ‘that time i turned down sex because my date was too drunk’

On one hand, there was the issue of consent. So to me, there was no other option but to turn her down.

I respected her agency and inability to consent way more than the aching I now felt in my True Religions. But on the other hand, there was the issue of my manhood.

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After all, I was a virgin who had a beautiful girl in my room, ready and willing to do whatever, and I passed. The fuck?

As a man, I had completely shit the bed and I had society to reinforce that notion. From birth, men are positioned as predators and women as prey some women buy into this, too— she was definitely miffed when I politely shut shit down. So, failing to close the deal made me feel like less of a man for a long time thereafter.

Fortunately, ten years and a lot of life have given me more than enough perspective on dating watford matter.

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I chose to act in line with my values. I chose to honor a woman and her body instead of taking advantage to serve my own masculine self-interests.

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But I definitely feel I acted with her— and our— best interests at heart. So yeah, I turned down some ass.

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But, it beats living with regret for the rest of my life, right? All Rights Reserved. By Malcolm Spaulding Posted March 7, Your will be shared with cassiuslife.